Reading Between the Lines with Grammy

When I was in Ohio for Christmas...

Grammy: Oh! You know, I forgot to get the mail today... (Stares at me)
Me: Oh, you want me to get it in the morning?
Grammy: Sure! That'd be nice. Or, if you want to, you can get it tonight.
Me: Well..... It's really cold out. Can I get it tomorrow? Is that okay? Or did you want to read it tonight?
Grammy: Oh, sure. That's fine. But.... If you want to, you could get it tonight...
Me: (Clueless) Okay! I'll get it before I start my lessons in the morning. The freezing cold will wake me up.

::five minutes later::

Grammy: But..... You know... You could do it now if you wanted to.....
Me: ..........(lightbulb) Okay. I can go now.
Grammy: Oh! That's so sweet of you. You're such a sweetie!!

Today, among other things, I'm thankful for my Grammy's patience with my inability to read between the lines.

A Transgender Christmas Play

A conversation with one of my male students:

Me: Do you have any fun plans for Christmas?
Student: I will have a party with my church.
Me: Oh, that sounds like fun! What will you do at the party? Dancing? Just eating food?
Student: Oh, well, I will be in a drama. A play?
Me: Oh really? What part will you have in the play?
Student: .....::mumbles::......
Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Can you please repeat that?
Student: Mary. I will be Mary in the drama.
Me: Mary? Oh, really?
Student: Yes. I am not happy to be Mary.
Me: (trying not to laugh) Oh, yeah? Why are you not happy?
Student: Well....my friends, they all pick me to be Mary. We are all a men's group. No women. Just men. They all decided I should be Mary.
Me: Oh, that's too bad.
Student: Yes. I'm so embarrassing.
Me: That's understandable. But, you know, it could be worse....
Student: How could it be worse?
Me: They could have picked you to play the donkey.
Student: Ahhhh...... yes. Teacher. You are so right. I am happy to be Mary and not the donkey.

Friday the 13th

I just got to the end of the lesson and my student noticed the date.

Student: Oh! Teacher! ::gasp::
Me: What happened?
Student: The date! It's the 13th of Friday!
Me: I know. You know it's supposed to be an unlucky day. Do you believe in that?
Student: Well, I know the movie. It's terrible.
Me: Friday the 13th, the movie?
Student: Yes! So terrible! Jason killed the people.
Me: Oh yeah. I know that movie. Yeah, people die in the movie. But, it's not real. Just a story.
Student: Oh, really?!? Well.... I am scared for you.
Me: Scared for me? Why would you be scared?
Student: I want you to run from Jason. Don't die.
Me: ... Okay. I promise to run.
Student: Okay, good! Please don't die from Jason.
Me: I will do my best.
Student: Good! Have a good weekend, teacher. Bye-bye!
Me: You too. Bye!

I'm touched that he cares and is rooting for me to outrun Jason tonight.

They Like Their Liquor

I love my student's honesty.

Me: Hello! How are you?
Student: I'm good. I'm drunk. Very drunk.
Me: (laughing) Oh, you are? Are you out with your friends?
Student: I'm out with my boss. He get me drunk.
Me: Ha! Well, are you at least having fun?
Student: Yes. I'm having fun. Very drunk.
Me: Okay. Do you need to cancel the lesson today? We can just study tomorrow...
Student: Yes. That would be best. I'm drunk.
Me: No problem! Be safe and have fun!
Student: Okay. Sorry Lindsay!

LOL If I had a dollar for every student that I talked to that was drunk, I wouldn't need to work. They like their liquor, that's for sure!

Consumerism and a Train Wreck

The generalizations my students make are hilarious.

Student: Oh, I'm so happy to hear from you today!
Me: Thank you! I missed our lessons during my vacation. How have you been?
Student: I'm good. I heard about Black Friday. I heard it's crazy.
Me: Oh, it is. It's very crazy. I generally stay home to avoid people.
Student: That's good, Lindsay.
Me: Yeah. You know, someone here died at a store on Black Friday.
Student: I heard! It was in a train wreck!! So sad!
Me: ... Well, those were two different things. There was a train wreck, but there also was a man that died in a store because the crowd knocked him over.
Student: Oh! So terrible!
Me: I know. It's awful

::we chatted a bit about consumerism::

Student: So, teacher.
Me: Yes?
Student: I'm so glad you're alive.
Me: Me too. I like being alive. Why do you say that?
Student: Well..... the train wreck.
Me: The train wreck in here in the US?
Student: Yes. I heard the train wreck and thought you died.
Me: Oh! Well, you know that happened in a different part of the country? I wasn't on the train.
Student: Oh, that's great news!!
Me: You thought I died?
Student: Well..... yes. I was scared you died.
Me: Oh, that's sad! I didn't die. I am still here. Alive and well.
Student: That's good! You need to be careful in crazy America!
Me: Agreed.

My poor student has been worried about me all day because he thought I died. Glad to know he cares

A Thanksgiving Jack-O-Lantern

One of my students asked me about our Thanksgiving celebration. Curious, I asked him what he thought it was.

Student: Well, I don't really know.
Me: Have you heard anything about our Thanksgiving? Just tell me what you know.
Student: Okay. I know there are pumpkins.
Me: Pumpkins?
Student: Yes. Pumpkins with faces in the middle of the table.
Me: Like a jack-o-lantern?
Student: YES! A Jack Lantern. In the middle of the table. With a big chicken.
Me: A big chicken?
Student: Yes. It says "gobble gobble."
Me: Yes, we call that a "turkey." But, you're right. It's similar to a big chicken.
Student: Oh, a turkey. So, yeah. That's thanksgiving. Jack Lantern and turkey.
Me: Good guess!

I like that he took a stab at it, even if he combined a few of our holidays

I did get a chance to explain the history and why it's called "Thanks Giving" and then we talked about what we're thankful for. It was a good lesson.

Humble Pie

Halfway through a lesson, I was getting frustrated. My student, who normally understands everything, wasn't getting it. I tried several more times to help them understand the topic and the sentences I wanted them to pronounce. I had just about given up when I realized I was teaching from the wrong book. I apologized multiple times to the student. SO thankful we have a good relationship and he has a lot of grace for me.

In the Dog House

I LOLed a little too hard this morning...

Me: So, what's up today? What did you do after work?
Student: Well, I went to Jejudo. (Jeju Island)
Me: You did? Oh, I am so jealous!
Student: Yes. I came here for a business conference.
Me: Oh, fun!
Student: Yes. But... teacher?
Me: Yes?
Student: Oy! Teacher! I am in not good with my wife.
Me: Uh-oh. What happened?
Student: My wife, she call me. She say, "Where are you?" I say, "Um.... I love you. I am at Jejudo."
Me: ....... You didn't tell your wife you were going out of town?
Student: No. I am so trouble right now.
Me: Yes. Yes, you are.

::A few moments later::

Me: You know, we have an expression that we use when the husband is in trouble.
Student: Really? What is it?
Me: It's called "You're in the dog house." Have you heard of it?
Student: YES! I know that! It's like this, (sings) "Who is the dog's house... woof...woof....woof woof...."
Me: Oh, that's the song, "Who LET the dogs OUT."
Student: OH! Okay. So, now I am in dog house.
Me: You are in THE dog house.
Student: I am in the dog house.
Me: Yes. It means you are in trouble. Big trouble.
Student: Yes. I will buy my wife a present. Or... I will give my wife money.
Me: Good call.

Dating Advice

I love when my students try to give me dating advice.

Student: What did you do this weekend?
Me: Well.... a lot of things. I was very busy for most of the weekend.Student: Ay! All weekend?
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
Student: You must have had a hard yesterday.
Me: Yes, I had a hard time waking up yesterday. That's what every Monday is like.

::A few moments later::...

Student: But, you know.... I have a question.
Me: Okay, what's your question?
Student: Well... it's kind of private. Is that okay?
Me: Haha! Well, it depends on what it is. But, I will try to answer.
Student: Okay. Well, I was wondering..... You need to date more.
Me: Is that your question? That's not really a question.
Student: Okay.... so...... Why don't you date more?
Me: Haha! Well, I am trying. It is hard sometimes. I am busy a lot. And, I don't always make time for people in my schedule. So.... some of it is my fault.
Student: Well, I am older than you and I think that at your age you are not dating enough.
Me: That's good advice. I will try to make some changes for you.
Student: Okay. Thank you. I want you to date. So you can marry good man.
Me: Sounds like a plan. I will make you proud.

A Proud Moment

Just had an amazing teacher moment...

I've been working with Jae Eun for almost three months. He has improved so much since his first lesson, due to his hard work. Today, during his lesson, Jae told me that he appreciated my lesson time with him. At first, I thought there was going to be a "but" in there, and he was ending our lessons. However, he shared with me that before our lessons, he wasn't able to communicate at all with the U.K. partners of their company.

Yesterday, the phone rang, and he was the only one that was available to answer it. Because of the time we spent working on his speech and comprehension, he was able to have an entire professional conversation! I felt like such a proud ESL Mama! His boss even told him to tell me "Thank you and good work!"

It's always those days when I don't feel capable that God reminds me of the good that is being done

I Look Like Katie Holmes

A few days ago, I had a student that compared his face to Orlando Bloom. Today, a separate student compared himself to another handsome actor (notice how no one compares themselves to say.... Danny DeVito??)

Me: What action movies do you enjoy?
Student: I love the Die Hard movies. And The Transporter.
Me: Oh, I *love* those movies!
Student: Yes. Bruce Willis is good. And Jason Statham.
Me: Oh, yeah! There's not much of a plot in their movies, but they're exciting!
Student: Yes! You know, I look just like Jason Statham....!
Me: Oh, really (skeptical)....? You must be so handsome!
Student: Well.... not *exactly* like him.
Me: Oh? What part of you looks like him?
Student: Just my hair.
Me: Oh... so, you're bald?
Student: Yes. Just like Jason Statham.

So, I guess it's okay for me to compare myself to Katie Holmes, since we both have eyelashes?? I like this logic.

Drunken Every Night

This. Just. Happened.

Me: What did you do over your Chuseok vacation?
Student: I drunken. Then movie. Then Drunken more. Then movie. Then drunken movie.
Me: Haha. I see! So, you drank lots of Soju and watched movies?
Student: Yes!
Me: So... are you drunk right now?
Student: Of course! Drunken everyday.
Me: Ah. Well, you sure like to party, don't you. You know, I've noticed that you are drunk dur...ing most of our lessons. Is there another time that would be better for you? I think you would improve more in your English skills if you were sober.
Student: No. I like drunken lessons.
Me: Haha. Okay, works for me.

...5 minutes later...

Student: Wait! You're single, right?!?!?
Me: (Hesitantly) .....yes.....
Student: Why single?!?!? What is wrong with you?
Me: LOL! There is NOTHING wrong with me. I am just single. It's not a disease!
Student: Why are you single, though? Is something wrong with your face?
Me: .......no. Nothing is wrong with my face.
Student: Well, what does it look like? My face is great! I look like The Orlando Bloom! Many girls say... "OooooOOOooooo! Take a picture with me! Have my baby!"
Me: (trying to prove a point) Well, if your face is great, why are you single?
Student: Because I am drunken every night.
Me: Yep, that would be a problem.

Sigh. This is both amusing and sad. I only get a lesson with "Orlando Bloom" twice a week, and he is ALWAYS drunk. So, it is very hard to help his English improve, let alone try to help influence his life. All I can do is just laugh and love him. See More

T.G.I.F.

Today is starting to be one of "those days" as an ESL teacher. It took one of my poor students 10 minutes to understand "Has your daughter flown before?" (We were talking about the vacation he was getting ready to go on.)

I tried to break the sentence down to help him understand. I tried to explain what a plane was (although he knows what it is, because he used the word earlier). I tried to talk ...about birds flying. I tried to talk about trips in the past. Nothing.

In the end, we changed the subject. When I asked if his daughter was excited to fly, he said, "Yes! This is only her second trip, so she is very happy! (He was completely unaware that he was answering my previous 10-minute-long question).

Sigh.

At least today's Friday. I need a refreshment of ESL Patience.

Secret Holidays

Funny moment for the day:

Me: Next week is Korean Chuseok, so we will not have class Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
Student: Yes. It is Chuseok.

::dramatic pause::

Student: Wait!! You know Chuseok?!?!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS??!?!?!?
Me: Well, I'm smart.
Student: Really???!?!?!?...
Me: Yes. I'm so smart. I know everything.

::student realizes I'm joking::

Student: Ooooohhhhhhh!!!!!! You are SO FUNNYYYYY!!!!
Me: Haha. I try.
Student: Okay, but really.... how did you know?
Me: Well, I'm in the United States, but as you know I work for a Korean company. They told me all their secret holidays.
Student: Ooooohhhh. That is so nice of them.

Considering Your Question

My last student of the day definitely fell asleep during the lesson. When I tried to get him to respond to a question that I had asked several times (I heard heavy breathing and he didn't respond the first two times I said his name), he said "YES! I'm just considering your question."

That would be a totally acceptable answer. Except for the fact that my question was, "Hey ______..... are you sleeping?" Not too much to consider for that question.

We ended the lesson early, and hopefully he is able to get some rest before our next meeting. #

My Mom Has A Beard

Oh, Jin O... what am I going to do with you?

Me: Can you please describe your mother?
Student: Okay. She has average build. She has average height.
Me: Okay, good. Anything else?
Student: She has a round face and is middle aged. And a beard.
Me: A beard?
Student: Yes.
Me: Your mom?
Student: Yes....
Me: She has a beard?
Student: Yes.
Me: SHE has a beard?
Student: (getting annoyed) YES.
Me. ..... Okay, then. Your mom has a beard.

Alrightythen.

I Got a Little Bored

I just read my friend's status about his ESL students complaining that they were bored already.

I'm kind of embarrassed to say that I was the bored one while teaching today. I got down to my last student and found no motivation to teach pronouns.

So, I did what any teacher would do: I challenged my student to a game of "Guess What I'm Holding in my Hand" to teach him how to describe things. It was quite successful, and he got a kick out of it too.

I Must Party

So, I know that we are not technically supposed to have favorite students... But, I do. There's this one student that is so endearing. Our conversations always crack me up (and they're usually the ones that I end up sharing on here).

Anyways, here's today's conversation:

::Phone rings::
::Student picks up the phone, and it is clear that he is out somewhere loud. Possible a bar::
Me: Hello! How ...are you?
Student: I'm good. How are you?
Me: I'm doing well, thanks. Where are you? It's kind of loud.
Student: I'm doing party.
Me: You're at a party?
Student: Yes. I'm partying.
Me: ... (Keep in mind that I've had quite a few lessons while students are out drinking)
Student: I cannot do the lesson today because I am partying.
Me: Okay, no problem at all. What are you celebrating?
Student: I am retiring.
Me: You're retiring? So soon? (He's in his early 20s)
Student: Yes. I am retiring from the Army tomorrow.
Me: Ooooohhhh. I understand. You are through with your contract tomorrow.
Student: Yes. I am excited. So now, I must party. I will talk to you tomorrow.
Me: Okay, no problem.
Student: Okay. Be good. Bye-bye!

I Will Miss You

Endearing moment of the morning:

Me: Jin O, I need to remind you that Thursday is Korean Liberation Day. So, we will not have class.
Jin O: ::gasps::
Me: Are you okay?
Jin O: No! I will miss you!
Me: ::laughs:: It will be okay. We will still have class tomorrow and Friday.
Jin O: But, I will miss you for that one day.
Me: ... I will miss you too, Jin O, but I think we will make it.
Jin O: I think we will make it too. Be good. Bye-bye.

It's important to note that up until yesterday, I thought good ol' Jin-O hated our lessons. So, this was quite a shock to me that he was disappointed that our class was cancelled. LOL.

They Can Wait

Funny moment of the day (so far):

Me: Hello, how are you?
Student: Good. It is my birthday.
Me: Oh, really? Happy Birthday!
Student: Thanks, we are celebrating for my birthday right now.
Me: You are?
Student: Yes. We are going to cut the cake now. They are waiting for me.
Me: Oh! Well, I can let you go if it is a bad time.
Student: No. They can wait. We can have the lesson.

Glad to know his priorities are straight!! ;P

Sleeping Beauty

I like how my students think.

Me: How many hours of sleep do you get every night?
Student: Um.... maybe 5 or 6.
Me: Wow! That's not a lot. I need more sleep than that or I get emotional.
Student: How many hours do you sleep?
Me: I try to get 8 or 9 hours every night.
Student: WOW!! You must be so beautiful!!!
Me: .........
Student: You know what they say.... "Beautiful women need many hours of s...leep!"
Me: Oh! Well..... thank you?

So, the moral of the story is... you, too, can be beautiful. Just sleep more.

Shoplifting

Me: Have you ever shoplifted?
Student: Yes. Yes. Of course.
Me: (Thinking he must not understand) Okay. But, have YOU ever SHOPLIFTED?
Student: YES. Of course.
Me: You have?
Student: Yes.
Me: Oh. Do you shoplift a lot?
Student: Yes. Many times.

......awkward...... ...

(I did find out later that my student needs more help understanding the past tense, because he DID shoplift a lot.... when he was a small child. And apparently, it wasn't that big of a deal in his city.)

I took this moment to teach the phrase "Juvenile Detention Center."

Impressed

I'm so impressed with my student, Tim (his English name). He is my first High School student, so I was a little unsure of what to expect. He totally blew me away. He asked me all about the current events in the U.S., including the Zimmerman trial and "wanted to know what is really going on, since the media portrays such a limited perspective."

WHAT!?!?

A 17-year-old that understands more than most adults in this country? Wow!

He then went on to tell me that his goal is to work for the United Nations as an advocate for human rights. I think I just met a new hero. I am looking forward to learning all I can from this young man.

In other news, my weekend just started. So, that's exciting

He is Hero

I was just discussing how South Koreans obtained their independence with my student, Jeong U Cheol. When we were talking about the Korean War, I told him that my Grampy fought for his freedom with the Navy. U Cheol then thanked me for sending him to help. My response was, "You're welcome. He was a very good man."

His response made me cry: "Good man is not enough. He is hero."

I couldn't agree more, Jeong U Cheol. (And no, I did not correct his grammar on that sentence.)