In the Dog House

I LOLed a little too hard this morning...

Me: So, what's up today? What did you do after work?
Student: Well, I went to Jejudo. (Jeju Island)
Me: You did? Oh, I am so jealous!
Student: Yes. I came here for a business conference.
Me: Oh, fun!
Student: Yes. But... teacher?
Me: Yes?
Student: Oy! Teacher! I am in not good with my wife.
Me: Uh-oh. What happened?
Student: My wife, she call me. She say, "Where are you?" I say, "Um.... I love you. I am at Jejudo."
Me: ....... You didn't tell your wife you were going out of town?
Student: No. I am so trouble right now.
Me: Yes. Yes, you are.

::A few moments later::

Me: You know, we have an expression that we use when the husband is in trouble.
Student: Really? What is it?
Me: It's called "You're in the dog house." Have you heard of it?
Student: YES! I know that! It's like this, (sings) "Who is the dog's house... woof...woof....woof woof...."
Me: Oh, that's the song, "Who LET the dogs OUT."
Student: OH! Okay. So, now I am in dog house.
Me: You are in THE dog house.
Student: I am in the dog house.
Me: Yes. It means you are in trouble. Big trouble.
Student: Yes. I will buy my wife a present. Or... I will give my wife money.
Me: Good call.

Dating Advice

I love when my students try to give me dating advice.

Student: What did you do this weekend?
Me: Well.... a lot of things. I was very busy for most of the weekend.Student: Ay! All weekend?
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
Student: You must have had a hard yesterday.
Me: Yes, I had a hard time waking up yesterday. That's what every Monday is like.

::A few moments later::...

Student: But, you know.... I have a question.
Me: Okay, what's your question?
Student: Well... it's kind of private. Is that okay?
Me: Haha! Well, it depends on what it is. But, I will try to answer.
Student: Okay. Well, I was wondering..... You need to date more.
Me: Is that your question? That's not really a question.
Student: Okay.... so...... Why don't you date more?
Me: Haha! Well, I am trying. It is hard sometimes. I am busy a lot. And, I don't always make time for people in my schedule. So.... some of it is my fault.
Student: Well, I am older than you and I think that at your age you are not dating enough.
Me: That's good advice. I will try to make some changes for you.
Student: Okay. Thank you. I want you to date. So you can marry good man.
Me: Sounds like a plan. I will make you proud.

A Proud Moment

Just had an amazing teacher moment...

I've been working with Jae Eun for almost three months. He has improved so much since his first lesson, due to his hard work. Today, during his lesson, Jae told me that he appreciated my lesson time with him. At first, I thought there was going to be a "but" in there, and he was ending our lessons. However, he shared with me that before our lessons, he wasn't able to communicate at all with the U.K. partners of their company.

Yesterday, the phone rang, and he was the only one that was available to answer it. Because of the time we spent working on his speech and comprehension, he was able to have an entire professional conversation! I felt like such a proud ESL Mama! His boss even told him to tell me "Thank you and good work!"

It's always those days when I don't feel capable that God reminds me of the good that is being done

I Look Like Katie Holmes

A few days ago, I had a student that compared his face to Orlando Bloom. Today, a separate student compared himself to another handsome actor (notice how no one compares themselves to say.... Danny DeVito??)

Me: What action movies do you enjoy?
Student: I love the Die Hard movies. And The Transporter.
Me: Oh, I *love* those movies!
Student: Yes. Bruce Willis is good. And Jason Statham.
Me: Oh, yeah! There's not much of a plot in their movies, but they're exciting!
Student: Yes! You know, I look just like Jason Statham....!
Me: Oh, really (skeptical)....? You must be so handsome!
Student: Well.... not *exactly* like him.
Me: Oh? What part of you looks like him?
Student: Just my hair.
Me: Oh... so, you're bald?
Student: Yes. Just like Jason Statham.

So, I guess it's okay for me to compare myself to Katie Holmes, since we both have eyelashes?? I like this logic.

Drunken Every Night

This. Just. Happened.

Me: What did you do over your Chuseok vacation?
Student: I drunken. Then movie. Then Drunken more. Then movie. Then drunken movie.
Me: Haha. I see! So, you drank lots of Soju and watched movies?
Student: Yes!
Me: So... are you drunk right now?
Student: Of course! Drunken everyday.
Me: Ah. Well, you sure like to party, don't you. You know, I've noticed that you are drunk dur...ing most of our lessons. Is there another time that would be better for you? I think you would improve more in your English skills if you were sober.
Student: No. I like drunken lessons.
Me: Haha. Okay, works for me.

...5 minutes later...

Student: Wait! You're single, right?!?!?
Me: (Hesitantly) .....yes.....
Student: Why single?!?!? What is wrong with you?
Me: LOL! There is NOTHING wrong with me. I am just single. It's not a disease!
Student: Why are you single, though? Is something wrong with your face?
Me: .......no. Nothing is wrong with my face.
Student: Well, what does it look like? My face is great! I look like The Orlando Bloom! Many girls say... "OooooOOOooooo! Take a picture with me! Have my baby!"
Me: (trying to prove a point) Well, if your face is great, why are you single?
Student: Because I am drunken every night.
Me: Yep, that would be a problem.

Sigh. This is both amusing and sad. I only get a lesson with "Orlando Bloom" twice a week, and he is ALWAYS drunk. So, it is very hard to help his English improve, let alone try to help influence his life. All I can do is just laugh and love him. See More

T.G.I.F.

Today is starting to be one of "those days" as an ESL teacher. It took one of my poor students 10 minutes to understand "Has your daughter flown before?" (We were talking about the vacation he was getting ready to go on.)

I tried to break the sentence down to help him understand. I tried to explain what a plane was (although he knows what it is, because he used the word earlier). I tried to talk ...about birds flying. I tried to talk about trips in the past. Nothing.

In the end, we changed the subject. When I asked if his daughter was excited to fly, he said, "Yes! This is only her second trip, so she is very happy! (He was completely unaware that he was answering my previous 10-minute-long question).

Sigh.

At least today's Friday. I need a refreshment of ESL Patience.

Secret Holidays

Funny moment for the day:

Me: Next week is Korean Chuseok, so we will not have class Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
Student: Yes. It is Chuseok.

::dramatic pause::

Student: Wait!! You know Chuseok?!?!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS??!?!?!?
Me: Well, I'm smart.
Student: Really???!?!?!?...
Me: Yes. I'm so smart. I know everything.

::student realizes I'm joking::

Student: Ooooohhhhhhh!!!!!! You are SO FUNNYYYYY!!!!
Me: Haha. I try.
Student: Okay, but really.... how did you know?
Me: Well, I'm in the United States, but as you know I work for a Korean company. They told me all their secret holidays.
Student: Ooooohhhh. That is so nice of them.