Reading Between the Lines with Grammy

When I was in Ohio for Christmas...

Grammy: Oh! You know, I forgot to get the mail today... (Stares at me)
Me: Oh, you want me to get it in the morning?
Grammy: Sure! That'd be nice. Or, if you want to, you can get it tonight.
Me: Well..... It's really cold out. Can I get it tomorrow? Is that okay? Or did you want to read it tonight?
Grammy: Oh, sure. That's fine. But.... If you want to, you could get it tonight...
Me: (Clueless) Okay! I'll get it before I start my lessons in the morning. The freezing cold will wake me up.

::five minutes later::

Grammy: But..... You know... You could do it now if you wanted to.....
Me: ..........(lightbulb) Okay. I can go now.
Grammy: Oh! That's so sweet of you. You're such a sweetie!!

Today, among other things, I'm thankful for my Grammy's patience with my inability to read between the lines.

A Transgender Christmas Play

A conversation with one of my male students:

Me: Do you have any fun plans for Christmas?
Student: I will have a party with my church.
Me: Oh, that sounds like fun! What will you do at the party? Dancing? Just eating food?
Student: Oh, well, I will be in a drama. A play?
Me: Oh really? What part will you have in the play?
Student: .....::mumbles::......
Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Can you please repeat that?
Student: Mary. I will be Mary in the drama.
Me: Mary? Oh, really?
Student: Yes. I am not happy to be Mary.
Me: (trying not to laugh) Oh, yeah? Why are you not happy?
Student: Well....my friends, they all pick me to be Mary. We are all a men's group. No women. Just men. They all decided I should be Mary.
Me: Oh, that's too bad.
Student: Yes. I'm so embarrassing.
Me: That's understandable. But, you know, it could be worse....
Student: How could it be worse?
Me: They could have picked you to play the donkey.
Student: Ahhhh...... yes. Teacher. You are so right. I am happy to be Mary and not the donkey.

Friday the 13th

I just got to the end of the lesson and my student noticed the date.

Student: Oh! Teacher! ::gasp::
Me: What happened?
Student: The date! It's the 13th of Friday!
Me: I know. You know it's supposed to be an unlucky day. Do you believe in that?
Student: Well, I know the movie. It's terrible.
Me: Friday the 13th, the movie?
Student: Yes! So terrible! Jason killed the people.
Me: Oh yeah. I know that movie. Yeah, people die in the movie. But, it's not real. Just a story.
Student: Oh, really?!? Well.... I am scared for you.
Me: Scared for me? Why would you be scared?
Student: I want you to run from Jason. Don't die.
Me: ... Okay. I promise to run.
Student: Okay, good! Please don't die from Jason.
Me: I will do my best.
Student: Good! Have a good weekend, teacher. Bye-bye!
Me: You too. Bye!

I'm touched that he cares and is rooting for me to outrun Jason tonight.

They Like Their Liquor

I love my student's honesty.

Me: Hello! How are you?
Student: I'm good. I'm drunk. Very drunk.
Me: (laughing) Oh, you are? Are you out with your friends?
Student: I'm out with my boss. He get me drunk.
Me: Ha! Well, are you at least having fun?
Student: Yes. I'm having fun. Very drunk.
Me: Okay. Do you need to cancel the lesson today? We can just study tomorrow...
Student: Yes. That would be best. I'm drunk.
Me: No problem! Be safe and have fun!
Student: Okay. Sorry Lindsay!

LOL If I had a dollar for every student that I talked to that was drunk, I wouldn't need to work. They like their liquor, that's for sure!

Consumerism and a Train Wreck

The generalizations my students make are hilarious.

Student: Oh, I'm so happy to hear from you today!
Me: Thank you! I missed our lessons during my vacation. How have you been?
Student: I'm good. I heard about Black Friday. I heard it's crazy.
Me: Oh, it is. It's very crazy. I generally stay home to avoid people.
Student: That's good, Lindsay.
Me: Yeah. You know, someone here died at a store on Black Friday.
Student: I heard! It was in a train wreck!! So sad!
Me: ... Well, those were two different things. There was a train wreck, but there also was a man that died in a store because the crowd knocked him over.
Student: Oh! So terrible!
Me: I know. It's awful

::we chatted a bit about consumerism::

Student: So, teacher.
Me: Yes?
Student: I'm so glad you're alive.
Me: Me too. I like being alive. Why do you say that?
Student: Well..... the train wreck.
Me: The train wreck in here in the US?
Student: Yes. I heard the train wreck and thought you died.
Me: Oh! Well, you know that happened in a different part of the country? I wasn't on the train.
Student: Oh, that's great news!!
Me: You thought I died?
Student: Well..... yes. I was scared you died.
Me: Oh, that's sad! I didn't die. I am still here. Alive and well.
Student: That's good! You need to be careful in crazy America!
Me: Agreed.

My poor student has been worried about me all day because he thought I died. Glad to know he cares