I Look Like Katie Holmes

A few days ago, I had a student that compared his face to Orlando Bloom. Today, a separate student compared himself to another handsome actor (notice how no one compares themselves to say.... Danny DeVito??)

Me: What action movies do you enjoy?
Student: I love the Die Hard movies. And The Transporter.
Me: Oh, I *love* those movies!
Student: Yes. Bruce Willis is good. And Jason Statham.
Me: Oh, yeah! There's not much of a plot in their movies, but they're exciting!
Student: Yes! You know, I look just like Jason Statham....!
Me: Oh, really (skeptical)....? You must be so handsome!
Student: Well.... not *exactly* like him.
Me: Oh? What part of you looks like him?
Student: Just my hair.
Me: Oh... so, you're bald?
Student: Yes. Just like Jason Statham.

So, I guess it's okay for me to compare myself to Katie Holmes, since we both have eyelashes?? I like this logic.

Drunken Every Night

This. Just. Happened.

Me: What did you do over your Chuseok vacation?
Student: I drunken. Then movie. Then Drunken more. Then movie. Then drunken movie.
Me: Haha. I see! So, you drank lots of Soju and watched movies?
Student: Yes!
Me: So... are you drunk right now?
Student: Of course! Drunken everyday.
Me: Ah. Well, you sure like to party, don't you. You know, I've noticed that you are drunk dur...ing most of our lessons. Is there another time that would be better for you? I think you would improve more in your English skills if you were sober.
Student: No. I like drunken lessons.
Me: Haha. Okay, works for me.

...5 minutes later...

Student: Wait! You're single, right?!?!?
Me: (Hesitantly) .....yes.....
Student: Why single?!?!? What is wrong with you?
Me: LOL! There is NOTHING wrong with me. I am just single. It's not a disease!
Student: Why are you single, though? Is something wrong with your face?
Me: .......no. Nothing is wrong with my face.
Student: Well, what does it look like? My face is great! I look like The Orlando Bloom! Many girls say... "OooooOOOooooo! Take a picture with me! Have my baby!"
Me: (trying to prove a point) Well, if your face is great, why are you single?
Student: Because I am drunken every night.
Me: Yep, that would be a problem.

Sigh. This is both amusing and sad. I only get a lesson with "Orlando Bloom" twice a week, and he is ALWAYS drunk. So, it is very hard to help his English improve, let alone try to help influence his life. All I can do is just laugh and love him. See More

T.G.I.F.

Today is starting to be one of "those days" as an ESL teacher. It took one of my poor students 10 minutes to understand "Has your daughter flown before?" (We were talking about the vacation he was getting ready to go on.)

I tried to break the sentence down to help him understand. I tried to explain what a plane was (although he knows what it is, because he used the word earlier). I tried to talk ...about birds flying. I tried to talk about trips in the past. Nothing.

In the end, we changed the subject. When I asked if his daughter was excited to fly, he said, "Yes! This is only her second trip, so she is very happy! (He was completely unaware that he was answering my previous 10-minute-long question).

Sigh.

At least today's Friday. I need a refreshment of ESL Patience.

Secret Holidays

Funny moment for the day:

Me: Next week is Korean Chuseok, so we will not have class Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
Student: Yes. It is Chuseok.

::dramatic pause::

Student: Wait!! You know Chuseok?!?!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS??!?!?!?
Me: Well, I'm smart.
Student: Really???!?!?!?...
Me: Yes. I'm so smart. I know everything.

::student realizes I'm joking::

Student: Ooooohhhhhhh!!!!!! You are SO FUNNYYYYY!!!!
Me: Haha. I try.
Student: Okay, but really.... how did you know?
Me: Well, I'm in the United States, but as you know I work for a Korean company. They told me all their secret holidays.
Student: Ooooohhhh. That is so nice of them.

Considering Your Question

My last student of the day definitely fell asleep during the lesson. When I tried to get him to respond to a question that I had asked several times (I heard heavy breathing and he didn't respond the first two times I said his name), he said "YES! I'm just considering your question."

That would be a totally acceptable answer. Except for the fact that my question was, "Hey ______..... are you sleeping?" Not too much to consider for that question.

We ended the lesson early, and hopefully he is able to get some rest before our next meeting. #